Monday, July 9, 2012

Seared and Smoking in Las Vegas: 2012 Trip Report Part 1

Part 1: The Plan
Part 2: Baker
Part 3: The Buffet
Part 4: Monday (arrival)
Part 5: Tuesday
Part 6: Wednesday
Part 7: Thursday
Part 8: Friday (departure)

Going through my Vegas notebook in anticpation of this trip, I found the following recipe:

2 bags of grass
75 pellets of mescaline
five sheets of high-powered blotter acid
a saltshaker half-full of cocaine
1 quart tequila
1 quart rum
1 case Budweiser
1 pint raw ether
2 dozen amyls

Load up in red convertible, aka "The Great Shark"
Drive to Vegas

No time like the present.  Of course, we might have to make some approximations.

2 bags of grass:  All of the medicinal marijuana dispensaries near my home just closed, no thanks to the DEA, so we would have to go without that.

Five sheets of high-powered blotter acid: Staples was fresh out of blotter paper, but we have several lemons.

A saltshaker half-full of cocaine:  Every table we eat at in Vegas should have salt and pepper shakers , so bringing our own salt shaker seems kind of like bringing sand to the beach.  Maybe things were different in 1971?

Uppers/downers/screamers/laughers:  Yes.  We are taking our children.

Bottle of tequila and rum, case of budweiser:  I don't do well on a lot of alcohol when it is 114 degrees, but we have a cooler full of bottles of cold water and a case of diet 7up for the road.

1 pint raw ether:  No thanks.  I studied math in college and that was more ethereal than anything I ever want to deal with again.

Mescaline and amyls:  Not really sure what those are.  We do have alka seltzer and advil, which should substitute acceptably.

I wasn't able to locate a red convertible from any of the nearby rental agencies.   However, luck may be on my side.  A late-model white minivan, for which my wife is giving me the keys, accompanied by one of history's great eyerolls, is conveniently parked in the driveway and fully loaded with baggage and travel-oriented detritus.  The "Great White Shark" perhaps?

Gas tank is full.  And we're off.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the nice report - it's interesting to see what other people do on trips to Vegas.


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